Yubo’s Tips on Surviving the World’s Ghosting Epidemic

Ghosting can sometimes feel like a word from the dictionary of modern dating, but that’s not the whole story. It can take many shapes and forms: from friends and family to potential employers or even institutions. Yikes, right?

So, what is ghosting? Ghosting is defined as an abrupt ending of all communication with someone without giving them a reason or an explanation. The culprit quite literally becomes a ghost vanishing into thin air and refusing an opportunity for closure. Often, the ghoster will slowly – or suddenly – stop responding to your messages or calls, but sometimes it goes even further, resulting in them unfriending or blocking you on social media out of the blue.

Ghosting can have many core causes: growing out of a relationship, avoiding conflict, struggling with mental health. According to data, 84% of Gen Z and Millennials have been ghosted at some point in their lives. Nearly 2 in 3 in this demographic have ghosted someone else. So, if so many of us do it, is ghosting even that bad? What kind of consequences can it have, and how do we learn to communicate better? Should we even try?

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Is ghosting really that bad?

Despite its popularity, ghosting continues to be quite divisive. On one hand, it can have a profound psychological impact on the one being ghosted, due to its abrupt and uncertain nature. It can sometimes leave the person on the receiving end feeling abandoned and insecure, especially if pre-existing attachment sensitivities are involved. Ghosting can create trust issues and make future friendships more difficult to navigate.

On the other hand, data shows that 86% of respondents feel relief rather than regret after ghosting someone they couldn’t bring themselves to talk to. Supporters of ghosting report that it can be a great tool in service of protecting personal boundaries. Ghosting can also prevent lengthy, emotionally draining discussions. Additionally, in situations when personal safety is at risk, it might be the only available option to leave a relationship unharmed.

So, ghosting isn’t great, but it’s also not the end of the world. The real answer lies in the context. Sometimes it’s a sign to move on, and other times it’s a wake-up call to choose connections with better communication. Either way, keep your head up and remember – you deserve people who show up for you and stay in your life.

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Why do we do it?

Ghosting is a significant part of modern relationships. This is why it’s important to understand the reasons behind it, uncovering both sides of the story. With 66% of Gen Z and Millenials having an experience of ghosting someone, it’s safe to say a majority will decide to ghost somebody one time or another. So why do we ghost? The reasons are varied, but the most common ones are convenience, conflict avoidance, and the normalization of this behavior.

Convenience

Relationships, sadly, sometimes end. Occasionally, it is because you’ve grown apart with your oldest friends, at times, it’s new friendships that do not fully work out for you. While it takes time and effort to end a relationship with another person, giving them time to process and ask questions, ghosting can prove an easy solution for those who seek convenience.

Conflict avoidance

Let's face it – conflict is hard. Having to tell someone you don't want to be their friend anymore is even harder. Ending a relationship requires both people to be vulnerable and express feelings they'd rather keep hidden. Ghosting offers an easy escape from this vulnerability, effectively shutting down any potential conflict before it begins.

Normalization

The rise of online spaces and relationships has significantly contributed to the normalization of ghosting. When engaging with others digitally, relationships can sometimes feel less personal and easier to drop. And then, there’s reduced accountability and lack of consequences for disappearing without explanation.

Let’s be real for a moment – you have probably been both the ghoster and the ghostee at some point in your life. Take a moment to reflect on why you ghosted someone. Was it simply an easy way out, or did you think you were sparing their feelings? While ghosting might sometimes feel like a natural response, remembering everyone's basic need for closure can help us move away from ghosting and build better online communication.

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Coping with being ghosted

Ghosting can be hard to cope with, after all – it’s a form of rejection, albeit most often a digital one. It can bring about feelings of regret and shame, or even trigger a feeling of insecurity caused by lack of closure. Here at Yubo, we understand how ghosting can bring you down, so we’d like to offer you some simple tips on how to deal with being ghosted.

Remember: It’s not About You

If you find yourself getting ghosted, it’s important to remember that it is not your fault. People ghost others for all kinds of reasons: a need to withdraw from a relationship without conflict, insecurity, emotional unavailability, or even burnout and stress.

Give Yourself Time to Process

While dwelling too long on a ghosting experience can be harmful, taking time to process it can be helpful. Give yourself space to reflect on all aspects of the friendship – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Focus on your side of the story – your own experiences. Likely you won’t ever get an explanation, but you can be responsible for your closure. If you need a ritual to help you process – write a letter you are not intending to send. After that, focus on moving forward.

Resist the Urge to Reach Out

While you might initially want to seek closure by repeatedly reaching out, doing so can hinder your healing. If you’re glued to their social media profile 24/7 or sit motionlessly for hours hoping for a text, start setting boundaries for yourself. Limit your screen time. You can even enable Focus mode on your phone – check out Yubo's guide on how to set this up. Unfollow or even block the person who ghosted you to avoid unnecessary reminders.

Focus on Self-Care and Support

Spend some time engaging in activities that make you feel good. Self-care is great for boosting your confidence and helping to shift your focus. Rely on friends and family to help you with processing your emotions. Ask them to offer reassurance when you’re feeling down.

Get Back in the Saddle

After taking some time to reflect and grieve the relationship that has ended, try connecting with someone again. Maybe you could even meet new friends locally with Yubo's "Near You" feature! Remember: not everyone will treat you the same way. It can be hard to trust again after being ghosted, but don’t let it scare you away from pursuing new friendships.

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How to get better at communicating

So, maybe you’ve chosen ghosting to end relationships previously – no shame, it happens. Maybe couldn’t find the right words, panicked or just waited too long to respond and it just became awkward. But it doesn’t have to stay this way. If you’re up for levelling up your communication skills, here are some tips on how to get better at expressing your feelings in an honest and upfront way.

Firstly, practice a little! Try saying what you want to say without overthinking or overcomplicating it. Keep it short and real. A simple and effective sentence here would be something like “Hey, I don’t think this is working out, but I wish you the best.” It’s brief, and to the point and does not require a whole essay to communicate what’s at its core. If you need more ideas, check out this article on what to say instead of ghosting someone.

Next, prepare for it to get awkward. It doesn’t always have to be, but sometimes parting ways or setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable. It’s a lot like ripping off a Band-Aid. Don’t stall waiting for a better time – just do it as soon as possible after you’ve realised your relationship is not working for you.

Be mindful of your boundaries, too. Ghosting can feel like the only way because the other person isn’t respecting your space or decisions. If that’s the case, you can choose to say, “I need some space and won’t be able to keep talking.” No need to over-explain yourself. Try being upfront about your needs.

Lastly, celebrate your wins. When you’re choosing clear and direct communication over ghosting, give yourself a little pat on the head. Remember: you’re learning and growing. Don’t forget to give yourself credit for being real and taking care of your needs.

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Some final thoughts

Communication is a skill that grows with practice. As you gain confidence, you'll be able to move past ghosting and engage with others more openly. Through honesty and empathy, you can build stronger connections and avoid the painful effects that ghosting often creates. When you end relationships respectfully and provide space for closure, everyone involved can have more meaningful experiences.

And as for those who ghosted you? They don’t get a say in your story. Use this experience as a chance to reflect on what truly matters in your relationships. You have the power to build healthy connections with clear communication. And if you're ready to start fresh, why not begin that journey by downloading Yubo today?